Offended Much?

It is certainly very difficult to write about my relationships or any details of my life without first thinking  "Will so & so be offended?"  Or more importantly should I even care in the first place.   For the most part I mean no harm. As you should have already gotten Voni.Isnt.Perfect nor do I claim to be.  My blog is an avenue to display my thoughts for the sheer entertaintment of those who can respect it as such.  Now with that out of the way.... I need to get some things off my chest.


At the ripe age of 29 I've been in about three longstanding relationships one of them I have the pleasure of holding on to for 3 long years. Oh wait- 4 relationships. Where are my manners? All except one concluded with mutual understanding.  It was time. That particular one I have been gracious enough to learn alot about myself.  Atleast enough to know what I want out of my next relationships. What I will NOT tolerate etc. 

Never have I ever had to explain my every move to my partner.  If it were a trip to the supermarket, the nails salon, or to the bathroom- I never had to do it.  Unfortunately in my latest relationship, this is what was required of me or else it landed me in the dog house.  Is this some sort of ego trip? Am I just used to being a little more independent when it comes to my whereabouts?  I really have no desire to date my parent especially at my age however; in putting the shoe on the other foot - Am I just not GETTING IT???  In hindsight, I think it has more to do with CONTROL - gender role play.  Yes, I want someone to be the provider.  Yes, I am all about security, decisiveness, and a partner who is aggressive. However; there is a fine line between that & abuse.

Some other things Voni will not do or tolerate when in a relationship with YOU!

1. Cook because you think it is "my job" as your GF - this is the best way to get you Cereal & warm milk.  Seriously, this is something that should be expected of a wife and even then a wife needs some sort of reprieve.   Plainly put, if you can get the milk for free, why buy the COW!

2. Laundry - see above

3. Choose between You & My Friends - If this ultimatum ever comes up, you are in a LOSE LOSE situation.   No, I'm not the one to run to my girls every time there is a disagreement; however due to the longetivity of any of my friendships a telephone call in the middle of the night from anyone of my girls will be heavily contemplated....

4. Loan you money -  Never look to Voni to borrow large sums of money for any reason.  There is something unsettling about my significant other relying on me when it comes to anything monetary.  Especially when said amount is not paid in a timely fashion. This is where Voni goes from being your loving girlfriend into your angry PIMP!!!  See also: Co-sign on a car, add a line on my cell phone etc.

5.  Anything sexual that involves another party.  Don't ask. Ain't doing it. The end

6. Wait - My future goals and accomplishments should NEVER be dependent upon whether you approve of such things - or not.  This is a rule You should follow as well.  Often times I've passed up an opportunity  because my S.O at the time was uncomfortable.  Where is the opportunity now? Long gone and so is S.O!!

7. Stroke ya Ego - My job as your GF is to HELP pick you up during the times when you are down. This should not be confused with using me to give out willy nilly affirmations and reassurances just for your sheer enjoyment.  That is not only tiring but abusive!!! How is it abusive? If you need me to continiously tell you that "LIFE WILL GET BETTER", "No BABY, YOUR SHAPE UP IS FINE, DONT BE SO HARD ON YA SELF, every minute of the day - it means you have little to no confidence within yourself, leaving no room for me in our relationship.  It ain't all about you!

8. Talk about Marriage or Moving In. -  I don't have any interests in conversing about hypothetical future situations. If you are really serious about either one, make sure you have a ring ready to propose and/or a lease in hand!!! 

9. No Friends/No Job/No Hobbies or Goals - Consider yourself un-dateable.  Not having the aformentioned makes for a needy S.O. by default.  I definitely don't think its done on purpose but consequently if this is YOU of course you are going to want to spend every waking minute with me.. You have absolutely nothing else to do. Unfortunately,this is a turn-off. BBM not interested face.

10. Tit for Tat - This is one of my biggest pet peeves.  Be accountable for your own actions. That spiteful crap will get you in way more trouble than you bargained for.  Nothing more annoying to me than if I unknowingly do something you despise and you turn around try do it to me to try and prove a point. USE YOUR WORDS!! 

I can go on for days however; at the risk of looking like Chilli of TLC ... I for lack of better words am going to CHILL! 

Voni  V.I.P