The other night I met up with one of my best girlfriends and her co-worker in the city. She scored tickets to the John Legend & The Roots concert and I figured I owed it to my readers to be able to recant the experience via VoniIsntPerfect.
While on the A-train, all of us girls engaged in conversations mainly about men, dating and Hot dogs. My girl's co-worker tells us a story about one of the worst dating scenarios in history. If you thought my "Latin Girl" story was bad this tops the cake.
"This guy had been asking me out everyday for the past few months. There was something about him that didn't sit right with me; however I finally decided to take him up on his offer to grab a bite to eat and watch a movie."
My girl begins to giggle. I'm guessing she had already heard this story from her co-worker before.
"So we enter the movie theater and he asks me if I'd like something from the concession stand. I told him I'd like 2 hot dogs and a drink. He recites my order and gets Nachos for himself. The movie ends and as we are leaving the theater I turned to him and say "Well, where are we going for dinner?"
By now my girl is laughing hysterically and I already know the ending.
She continues...
"Don't you know he turns to me and says, "Umm, DIDNT YOU ALREADY HAVE TWO HOT DOGS??!!!!"
Needless to say she ended that DATE immediately. That was the one and only Red Flag she needed to let her know this guy was a complete LOSER.
**Trust me when I say this is a true story. If you have any dating stories you'd like to share, send them to my email address ---> Voni.Isnt.Perfect@gmail.com
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Who You Lovin Who You Wanna be Huggin
My father whether he knows it or not plays a big role in how I choose the men I date. As I transitioned from daddy's little girl to boy crazy in my adolescent years, "Daddy" would give me advice on what type of guys he thought were worthy enough to date his daughter. I still go by these rules to this day. I try to atleast.
"If a man doesn't walk you to your car, call you a cab, or walk you to the train/bus station, he doesn't care about your safety. A man should make sure his lady is safe and secure. A man's role is to protect you even if your situation is just as simple as one date."
"A firm hand shake signifies a confident man."
" A good man has a great work ethic."
"When the waiter/waitress brings the bill, a man will show you his maturity by the way he handles the tip."
"Pay attention to the way a man treats his mother because he will treat you the same way."
My father is not the type of father who is long-winded or who comes up with elaborate back-stories like Bill Cosby before he gets to the point of his lessons. A straight forward type of guy. I can remember bringing home a young man to meet my dad (very rare). I could tell my he had an opinion on this particular guy just by the look in eye.
"Sooooo , what do you think Daddy?"
"I need more time."
This was a first! We kept dating for a year or so before I asked my dad the same question.
"Sooo, what do you think Daddy?"
"I think that he is a good guy. He brings my daughter home safe, he takes off his hat when he comes in the house and is very well spoken. I can tell he loves you however; he will not marry you. If marriage or a strong commitment is what your looking for, keep looking."
He explained to me that a man knows what he wants out of a relationship within the first year maybe even sooner. If a strong commitment is what he is seeking out of the relationship he will have no problems making that move towards this goal. Makes you go hmmm...
Daddy was right.....
Voni V*I*P
"If a man doesn't walk you to your car, call you a cab, or walk you to the train/bus station, he doesn't care about your safety. A man should make sure his lady is safe and secure. A man's role is to protect you even if your situation is just as simple as one date."
"A firm hand shake signifies a confident man."
" A good man has a great work ethic."
"When the waiter/waitress brings the bill, a man will show you his maturity by the way he handles the tip."
"Pay attention to the way a man treats his mother because he will treat you the same way."
My father is not the type of father who is long-winded or who comes up with elaborate back-stories like Bill Cosby before he gets to the point of his lessons. A straight forward type of guy. I can remember bringing home a young man to meet my dad (very rare). I could tell my he had an opinion on this particular guy just by the look in eye.
"Sooooo , what do you think Daddy?"
"I need more time."
This was a first! We kept dating for a year or so before I asked my dad the same question.
"Sooo, what do you think Daddy?"
"I think that he is a good guy. He brings my daughter home safe, he takes off his hat when he comes in the house and is very well spoken. I can tell he loves you however; he will not marry you. If marriage or a strong commitment is what your looking for, keep looking."
He explained to me that a man knows what he wants out of a relationship within the first year maybe even sooner. If a strong commitment is what he is seeking out of the relationship he will have no problems making that move towards this goal. Makes you go hmmm...
Daddy was right.....
Voni V*I*P
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Who U Lovin' Who U Wanna Be Huggin' - PART I
"There are lots of fish in the sea" - but I'd rather chill in the sand rather than take part. But for the sake of VONI ISNT PERFECT (I hope you notice the sacrifices I make for you guys ) and my sanity (no one wants to be the lonely friend) I will try.
Now that I'm back in the dating pool I am quickly coming to the conclusion that "dating" is pure comedy. In the past I've never really "dated" around in the true sense of the word. Previous boyfriends have been guys I've known before hand and wouldn't have considered having a relationship with in the first place. But because all of them have not led to the ultimate commitment *marriage*, I am trying a new formula.
On one of my many lunch breaks (I don't smoke however I feel that I am entitled to as many breaks as a smoker) I spotted a well-dressed young man in front of my building. Dark-skinned, average height and from what I can tell he works out often- maybe in his late 20s. I checked to see if he had a lit cigarette in his hand. I am trying to come out of my comfort zone and ease up on my "MUST HAVE" list however; I will not date a man who smokes ANYTHING.
No cigarette... Great... We make eye contact. I smile. He smiles back. Im thinking tomorrow I will strike up a convo. I check the time. Mental note: Lunch break for "him" is 1 o'clock.
Now you know the next day I was 15mins late for work trying to find a cute "work outfit." Smh.
Work. Work. MORE Work. Telephone Calls... Finally its lunch time.
I step out in front of the building and there he sat on the steps. Alone. So what did I do? I called my girl on the phone and casually sat next to him as if this wasn't planned at all. He smiled. The jig was up.
I then tell my girl I have to go although she knew that was coming. Before she hung up she asked if he had a blackberry? A girl has to have standards right?? lol
"No Lunch for you today pretty lady?"
Yea one minor detail I must have forgotten.
LUNCH!!!
"Oh, I've eaten already. Unless you plan on sharing your pizza."
We both laughed.
I will spare you with the flirty details. Let me fast forward to the "interesting" parts of the conversation.
All of a sudden he blurts out ..
"Summertime is the best time of year. Do you know why? Because there are lots of women. Beautiful women with big butts. You know what I mean?"
Dead Silence...
Actually I did understand what he meant but is that something you say to someone you've just met????
Normal conversation continues... I find out he is a temp at my job, he lives in Brooklyn and he works out at the gym right across the street. At this point, I'm thought we could exchange numbers and take "this" one step further. He must have read my mind because he pulled out his Blackberry to check the time. However he didnt ask for my information...
"Do you know any spanish women and if so do you have pictures of them.. like on your phone??"
"I'm sorry..what?"
"Spanish women.. I like spanish girls and I was wondering if you knew any?"
"Yea, ok. Um... Let me ask you something before I make an assumption about you. Do you think because I sat down next to you and engaged in a conversation, that I want to date you?"
He laughs although I hadn't said anything that warranted a chuckle. I was dead serious.
"Im sorry. I didn't mean to offend you."
STRIKE ONE...
He later tells me that he has a girlfriend at home and she is in fact of Latin decent and that should explain his interest in latin women.His explanation made no sense whatsoever but I let it slide.
Here comes STRIKE TWO
"Living in NYC, a man can never be faithful even though he decides to "commit" to a woman. Its just the way NYC works..."
W.T.F.
I mean who is this guy? This is proof you should never judge a book by its cover. This guy is an idiot to say the least.
As I stood up to walk away in shock of course, he says
"I've offended you again, haven't I?"
"Actually, you were just being you. Enjoy the rest of your lunch. I will be seeing you."
Yes, I got up and left. I was over it.
**The next day we meet in the elevator. He tells me that no one has ever left him mid-conversation. He promises to make it up to me by taking me out to lunch since I was evidently offended by something he had said. I declined...***
Is this what I have to look forward to??? IM NOT IMPRESSED!!
Voni V*I*P*
Now that I'm back in the dating pool I am quickly coming to the conclusion that "dating" is pure comedy. In the past I've never really "dated" around in the true sense of the word. Previous boyfriends have been guys I've known before hand and wouldn't have considered having a relationship with in the first place. But because all of them have not led to the ultimate commitment *marriage*, I am trying a new formula.
On one of my many lunch breaks (I don't smoke however I feel that I am entitled to as many breaks as a smoker) I spotted a well-dressed young man in front of my building. Dark-skinned, average height and from what I can tell he works out often- maybe in his late 20s. I checked to see if he had a lit cigarette in his hand. I am trying to come out of my comfort zone and ease up on my "MUST HAVE" list however; I will not date a man who smokes ANYTHING.
No cigarette... Great... We make eye contact. I smile. He smiles back. Im thinking tomorrow I will strike up a convo. I check the time. Mental note: Lunch break for "him" is 1 o'clock.
Now you know the next day I was 15mins late for work trying to find a cute "work outfit." Smh.
Work. Work. MORE Work. Telephone Calls... Finally its lunch time.
I step out in front of the building and there he sat on the steps. Alone. So what did I do? I called my girl on the phone and casually sat next to him as if this wasn't planned at all. He smiled. The jig was up.
I then tell my girl I have to go although she knew that was coming. Before she hung up she asked if he had a blackberry? A girl has to have standards right?? lol
"No Lunch for you today pretty lady?"
Yea one minor detail I must have forgotten.
LUNCH!!!
"Oh, I've eaten already. Unless you plan on sharing your pizza."
We both laughed.
I will spare you with the flirty details. Let me fast forward to the "interesting" parts of the conversation.
All of a sudden he blurts out ..
"Summertime is the best time of year. Do you know why? Because there are lots of women. Beautiful women with big butts. You know what I mean?"
Dead Silence...
Actually I did understand what he meant but is that something you say to someone you've just met????
Normal conversation continues... I find out he is a temp at my job, he lives in Brooklyn and he works out at the gym right across the street. At this point, I'm thought we could exchange numbers and take "this" one step further. He must have read my mind because he pulled out his Blackberry to check the time. However he didnt ask for my information...
"Do you know any spanish women and if so do you have pictures of them.. like on your phone??"
"I'm sorry..what?"
"Spanish women.. I like spanish girls and I was wondering if you knew any?"
"Yea, ok. Um... Let me ask you something before I make an assumption about you. Do you think because I sat down next to you and engaged in a conversation, that I want to date you?"
He laughs although I hadn't said anything that warranted a chuckle. I was dead serious.
"Im sorry. I didn't mean to offend you."
STRIKE ONE...
He later tells me that he has a girlfriend at home and she is in fact of Latin decent and that should explain his interest in latin women.His explanation made no sense whatsoever but I let it slide.
Here comes STRIKE TWO
"Living in NYC, a man can never be faithful even though he decides to "commit" to a woman. Its just the way NYC works..."
W.T.F.
I mean who is this guy? This is proof you should never judge a book by its cover. This guy is an idiot to say the least.
As I stood up to walk away in shock of course, he says
"I've offended you again, haven't I?"
"Actually, you were just being you. Enjoy the rest of your lunch. I will be seeing you."
Yes, I got up and left. I was over it.
**The next day we meet in the elevator. He tells me that no one has ever left him mid-conversation. He promises to make it up to me by taking me out to lunch since I was evidently offended by something he had said. I declined...***
Is this what I have to look forward to??? IM NOT IMPRESSED!!
Voni V*I*P*
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Fashion Night Out
***Updated***
Finally! I've uploaded the pics from my first experience of Fashion Night Out. I got invited to a couple of events this night but because I'm always running late I was only able to attend one. I heard the city was bananas which means I would have never made it to & through the madness. Celebrities were mixing and mingling with the common folk all for the sake of fashion. Kanye tweeted how lovely the ladies were looking walking down the New York City streets and of course my girl just knew he was referring to her. (she's a trip!). All in all I had a great time in Brooklyn.
FNO The Wagon Style.
Check the "security" in the background. He took his job very serious while attempting to make my girl and I stand on the sidewalk until we had clearance.
Later on that night, I found out the real reason we weren't able to walk in the store upon our arrival. You know I had to find out just why I was standing out on the streets for no good reason. Apparently there was a performance by a young artist named JUSSIE. Unfortunately, due to my tardiness I missed out on what I hear was a great performance. Have you heard of him?
Like I said, I can't really comment on his music; however do you remember Jurnee Smollett, the young actress who played in Eve's Bayou? Well, that's her older brother, Jussie. Hmmm, interesting right?
Okay, back to the events of FNO. After the performance, "security" finally let us through the doors and we were greeted by the familiar sounds of Brooklyn's own DJ BOOF. Here is a pic of DJ BOOF showing fashionista JQ the 1s & 2s.
Music blaring, free shots of liquor flowing, ladies looking chic & fabulous, fellas looking fly. (Am I showing my age by using the word fly??? *giggles*) There was even a make-up station for quick makeup tips by Shana of Glam2Luxe Cosmetics. I've been trying to get her to teach me how to do my eyebrows for the entire summer. I just wasnt prepared to get my lessons this night in front of everyone in the store.
After an hour or two of mingling with the good folks at The Wagon it was on to PART II of the night. Santos. I've never been so I was kind of excited to go - although I don't think my feet got the memo.
Fashion Night Out = A bevy of Men and Women dressed up in the latest & hottest fashions. The kick-off to NYC Fashion Week, all things fashion related come alive during this time. I personally will never consider myself fashion-forward however; I am fashion-friendly. *pic coming soon*
To be completely honestly, my night didn't end until about 4am and Lord knows how I lasted so long in my 5 inch heels. Here it is 7:30 p.m. the next day and I am still feeling the effects of the night before. (shout out to my NUMB BIG TOE!) And yes I will be wearing 5 inch heels again tonite. This is the type of sacrifice we women make for beauty. Besides I'm only 5 feet tall!!!
Oh Gosh!! Did I just say it was 7:30... I am going to be late..Again... My girls are going to kill me. I had to keep my promise to you guys and POST SOMETHING....
Check the blog again tomorrow for full frontal details of FNO weekend...
P.S. SEND ME YOUR FASHION NIGHT OUT PICS!!!
Voni *V.I.P.*
Finally! I've uploaded the pics from my first experience of Fashion Night Out. I got invited to a couple of events this night but because I'm always running late I was only able to attend one. I heard the city was bananas which means I would have never made it to & through the madness. Celebrities were mixing and mingling with the common folk all for the sake of fashion. Kanye tweeted how lovely the ladies were looking walking down the New York City streets and of course my girl just knew he was referring to her. (she's a trip!). All in all I had a great time in Brooklyn.
FNO The Wagon Style.
Check the "security" in the background. He took his job very serious while attempting to make my girl and I stand on the sidewalk until we had clearance.
Later on that night, I found out the real reason we weren't able to walk in the store upon our arrival. You know I had to find out just why I was standing out on the streets for no good reason. Apparently there was a performance by a young artist named JUSSIE. Unfortunately, due to my tardiness I missed out on what I hear was a great performance. Have you heard of him?
Okay, back to the events of FNO. After the performance, "security" finally let us through the doors and we were greeted by the familiar sounds of Brooklyn's own DJ BOOF. Here is a pic of DJ BOOF showing fashionista JQ the 1s & 2s.
 |
| Shana & Spag-Lo |
 |
| Photographer cut my shoe off.. but you get the picture. |
 |
| Voni - V.I.P. |
To be completely honestly, my night didn't end until about 4am and Lord knows how I lasted so long in my 5 inch heels. Here it is 7:30 p.m. the next day and I am still feeling the effects of the night before. (shout out to my NUMB BIG TOE!) And yes I will be wearing 5 inch heels again tonite. This is the type of sacrifice we women make for beauty. Besides I'm only 5 feet tall!!!
Oh Gosh!! Did I just say it was 7:30... I am going to be late..Again... My girls are going to kill me. I had to keep my promise to you guys and POST SOMETHING....
Check the blog again tomorrow for full frontal details of FNO weekend...
P.S. SEND ME YOUR FASHION NIGHT OUT PICS!!!
Voni *V.I.P.*
Monday, September 6, 2010
Can You Believe This???
I had been working extra hard at work. So hard I didn't even notice I missed lunch. I made a B-line for the Vending Machines immediately. My tummy was being type disrespectful. Crispy bill in hand, I punch my selection and BOOM!!!
YES!! a 2'FER !!
2 Pop Chips for the Price of One!!!
You know that feeling you get when you get something for free??? Well that feeling quickly Vanished!!! I attempted to open the bag of chips however; to my surprise something or someone had already done that. (enter a string of explicatives here...!!! Yooooooowaa)
Friday, September 3, 2010
Feature Fridays: Are You a Victim?
CAN'T WEAR SKINNY JEANS 'CUZ MY KNOT DONT FIT....
I am by no means a self-proclaimed Fashionista, Stylista, or any other style pyseudonym that ends in -ista. I wear what what I like and I happen to look GREAT doing so. Who am I to dictate what is the new trend, what you shouldn't wear or what was sooooo last season. All I know is that I make sure I don't wear flip-flops in the rain, I put away my scarves & hats for the summer, and take care not to wear UGGS above 55-60 degrees. When I am unsure, I will pick up a phone and dial a friend. Friends don't let Friends go outside looking CRAAAA-ZYYYY! If so, that is not your friend and he/she is laughing AT you not with you.
Again I am no June Ambrose (even though I adore her fashion sense)however; I know what I like and what I don't like. With that said, SKINNY JEANS for men is a NO-NO. Never would I date a guy who shops in the women's section and/or who's JUNK I can see without X-Ray vision. By no means, am I attracted to a man's curves.
Last night, I rode the train with my best girl friend. I look to my right and notice a very "fashion conscious" dark-skinned man peering at us through his Ray-Ban sunnies. OH MY!!!
"Would you date a man who wore skinny jeans?"
"Ugh, if it's worn the right way, sure."
That prompted me to ask myself - "What in the hell is the "right way?" Tight is tight. There is nothing manly about a young man or old man for that matter whose jeans has any percentage of spandex in it.
As soon as I got home, I went to my computer to do some research on this skinny jean disease. yes i did say disease - stay away from it GUYS!!
My girl was right - sort of.
 |
Would you date this guy? or rather would he date you! lmfao I can't.This is obviously the wrong way to wear skinny Jeans. |
 |
| Now this look I like. Not too tight and not hanging off the ass. Oh, btw this pic was taken when were in Miami (j/k)  |
 |
| When the skinny jean trends goes AWRY!!! |
Fine... You be the judge.
 |
Not only am I confused about the Capris I don't understand why would you wear a sweater & shorts at the same time..on the same day? Fashionistas out there can you help me out on this one.. |
 |
| C Breezy, may have proven there is always an exception to the rule. I still feel a little uneasy about Man-pris though. |
It is safe to say everything Must be done in moderation. Never take part in any trend that is not a direct reflection of yourself. We the people will notice. I have also come to the conclusion that Celebrities can pretty much do and wear whatever they want. If you consider yourself a celebrity more power to you but that doesnt mean You are one. And if you see me laughing to myself, you should know why.
Voni - *V.I.P*
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Michael Jackson's 52nd Birthday Party
I've finally decided to upload the pics of the
Michael Jackson Tribute
this past Sunday in Prospect Park hosted by Spike Lee
(love this guy.He is sooo Brooklyn).
It was blaazzzing hot in the park...a good 100 degrees if you asked me
but that didn't stop theMJ fans from coming and showing out.
Michael Jackson Tribute
this past Sunday in Prospect Park hosted by Spike Lee
(love this guy.He is sooo Brooklyn).
It was blaazzzing hot in the park...a good 100 degrees if you asked me
but that didn't stop theMJ fans from coming and showing out.
Shout out to Toya a.k.a. SHAMS for the backstage passes.
It definitely made up for her CRAPPY directions on the best place to park the car.
TUHHH!!!!!
Cake Man Raven
stopped by to donate 2 beautiful birthday cakes in honor of Michael Jackson.
Yes, ladies and gents the cakes were indeed Red Velvet.
To my surprise CakeMan pulled up his sleeves to cut the cakes for everyone backstage.
I mean with all the negative press stemming from legal actions against him for not adequately paying his employees to the health hazard in his warehouses:
I don't know maybe he should roll up his sleeves more often.
Watch CakeMan cut the cake like he is on TOP CHEF: Desserts
"Marlo"
Marlo was very willing to take the picture although I kind of wished he would have gotten into character.
Jamal aka "Gravy"
He played the role of Biggie in the movie Notorious and is a rapper from BROOKLYN!!
Al Sharpton
should coin the phrase "I'm Everywhere, You Ain't Never There"
should coin the phrase "I'm Everywhere, You Ain't Never There"
The day before the MJ Tribute, Al was in DC heading the "Reclaim the Dream Rally"
After sitting in the hot sun for hours, I had had enough.
The anticipation of the trek back to the car was overwhelming.
(which is probably the reason I'd stayed so long in the first place).
I had a great time, met a wonderful group of people and I figured it would be best to leave before the crowd...
We BROOKLYNITES can get kind of Rowdy
Until....
I spotted a group of men dressed in three-piece suits (despite the weather) running along side a mini van.
I hear somebody whisper...
"its Snoop"
I immediately thought
OMG! Its Snoop from The Wire!!!
My bestie turns to me and says
"that is just dumb VONI!!!
Why would Snoop from the Wire arrive with so much security
and Marlo walked in like the average JOE!!!
(Go ahead Laugh out Loud.. I cant hear you anyways...)
Out of the tinted Van was
SNOOP
the rapper of course.
And there you have it V.I.Ps.. full frontal backstage access to MJ 52nd Birthday Party.
Did you feel like you were with me? I hope so...
Voni *V.I.P.*
*Do you think Black business Owners are scrutinized more than other business owners?
* Or are Black people harder on their people?
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Voni Isnt Perfect : A message to My Prospective Readers..
Bonjour Yal,
Its Voni. There is something I would like to get off my chest before I really start opening up to you guys. I've created this blog for two reasons. I aspire to be and will become one of the greatest writers in the history of writing (got damnit!!) & because writing is my therapy. So im just gonna come out with it ...
___________________________________________________________________
I am a chronic blogger & a slave to my Zodiac Sign... Pisces.. a CHRONIC blogger because this isNOT my first blog. I PLAN to be more dedicated and diligent to Voni.Isnt.Perfect; however I am a Pisces which means I am creative, sensitive, intuitive, caring and a PROCRASTINATOR. I even procastinated by listing procrastinator last!!!! lol Procrastination usually leads to forgetting all about what new and fun ideas I've had and ultimately leading to the demise of whatever it is I've started.
-R.I.P. Voniloso.blogspot.com and the others I haven't published on the World Wide Web yet and probably never will.
So there. I've said it OUT LOUD... I hope to never let you down ...but ...again (say it with me..)Voni.Isnt.Perfect.
Voni *V.I..P.*
Its Voni. There is something I would like to get off my chest before I really start opening up to you guys. I've created this blog for two reasons. I aspire to be and will become one of the greatest writers in the history of writing (got damnit!!) & because writing is my therapy. So im just gonna come out with it ...
___________________________________________________________________
I am a chronic blogger & a slave to my Zodiac Sign... Pisces.. a CHRONIC blogger because this is
-
So there. I've said it OUT LOUD... I hope to never let you down ...but ...again (say it with me..)Voni.Isnt.Perfect.
Voni *V.I..P.*
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