Begging for Change

Every day I ride the 4 train to work, and I purposely try to bury myself in something interesting, to distract me from nuances the NYC subway train rides has to offer. Occasionally, I am interrupted by a male duo trying to raffle off M&M peanuts (never the plain ones), or a dope fiend accompanied by her dope fiend boyfriend; who is so swollen and hocked up on that stuff she doesn't even care that the seat of her pants are split wide the heck open - exposed for the world to see. Im just saying, we live in the age of phone cameras and the medium of social networking.

The funniest character I've come across is a tie between "Train Man" and the "Vietnam War Vet".  Both are panhandlers who are a step above putting their filthy caps in your face as u try to ignore their incessant begging. Train Man has mastered the art of imitating the sound you hear as the train doors are closing.  In between his impressions he tells a dirty joke or two.  Vietnam War Vet immediately steps in the car and begins to sob. He starts off slow and soft and gradually gets louder and louder with absolutely no tears at all. In fact mid-way thru his spiel he looks around to see if he has touched your heart so much that you can't help but reach in your purse for anything...  A penny, a nickel, a piece of lint... Something...   Oh but beware... Vietnam War Vet will go off if he hasn't reached his train car quota.  Pure Comedy... And, no I'm not against helping out anyone who has become down on their luck... Indeed I have given to a homeless woman once before;however I witnessed this same woman dump out a bag of coins into the seat and discard all of the pennies she had collected. Just left them on the seat of the train as if they didn't add up. 
Because of this, panhandlers don't really move me....


*Voni V.I.P*

Rules to This.... Follow My Lead

First blog post in a hot minute and I just have to take a page from the "DATING CHRONICLES edition...  I’m still on the market however; I am dating someone really special. I've decided to dip back into the past to catch up with an old flame that deserved another go at it.  Not something I normally do but the old flame is HAWT!!!   We've decided to take things at a relatively slower pace than normal due to the nature of our past relationships.
 In doing so, LIMBO is where we have been up until very recently - you know "NO STRINGS!!" 
This, by the way is heavily confusing.  No matter which label you decide to use (or no label at all) it MUST be clearly defined… or else all hell breaks loose…  


Here is a scenario with different reactions according to the phase of your relationship.


You just ended a wonderful night out on the town with your beau. You share a taxi cab.
The conversation is so engaging you don’t want the night to end.  
“Your house or mine?”   
Back at the house, the two of you sip some wine, maybe watch a movie and before you know its 3am.  He/she insists that you stay a little longer or at least until the sun comes up.  Add cuddling and spooning into the mix and the night just became perfect…. Until…  You hear a knock on the door.   
At first it’s a subtle knock… Your date doesn’t flinch. You’re thinking it was all in your mind.  
KNOCK!!!! “Hey I know you’re in there!”


What do YOU DO??!!!


NO STRINGS - YOU’RE JUST CHILLIN…..

If this is where you are in your relationship…. I’d say... Roll the hell over and act like you didn’t hear ANYTHING!!! You guys are just chilling right? This means you have no right to ask or even get mad at the mysterious person at the door just as much as he/she has no obligation to explain.

DATING EXCLUSIVELY……

I had to ask around for the definition of dating exclusively as I have never had the pleasure.  I’ve always went from “Just chillin” straight into the commitment phase.  To my understanding this stage is when you are very much interested in settling down however; you are uncertain of with who is worthy.  Unlike the NO STRINGS phase, here is where feelings are present but you try your best not to let emotions surface. In my opinion it never works.  You’re going to get mad… You’re going to feel away. And in regards to whomever it is thinking it’s cute to knock on the door 3am in the morning - well there is nothing you can do at this point either.   Flying off the handle is just going to make you look crazy because as it stands you’re only dating right?  If this situation ever happens to you, I would wait until the next day or two to iron out some details. Clearly someone forgot to mention something somewhere.  
My advice for those of you who are currently moonlighting in this phase is not to stay here too long.  The longer you’re in this particular phase the easier it is to act as if you’re committed while using the excuse that you are not whenever you see fit. 
Don’t ride the lines or you will get hurt.  


COMMITMENT - BF/GF

Like in any other relationship phase, I believe you should treat others just like you would like to be treated. Always put everything out on the table -no surprises. If there is an ex out there who still attached and is bold enough to knock on doors at crazy hours of the night- let it be known.  The first time this happens you might get a pass but trust it will go in the “IM THROUGH WITH YOU BOX”*   I’d like to think at this point in the game all loose ends are tied up and forgotten about however; there are exceptions to the rule.  Messy doesn’t make for great relationships and in the end you will look untrustworthy. 

*The “I’m through with you box” is an imaginary box filled with “oh no he didn’t or she betta not try that again!!”  To explain further, when in any phase of a relationship especially the commitment phase, I don’t believe that everything is worthy of an argument or a fight.  Those that aren’t get tucked away in the box and are filled until you are completely over it.  In reality, break-ups are not easy. If you are able to just break-up with your significant other at the drop of a hat then the commitment phase was not for you. The box is my way of justifying why I am leaving you. *giggles*


THE EX
Oh don't act like because you are broken up the thought of doing it one more time never crossed your mind.  Indulging in such guilty pleasures is dangerous no matter what the circumstance of the break-up. Consequently, if you are the Ex and the above scenario happens to you. You’ve been played... Get up and Get out NOW!!! Thoughts of getting back together should have immediately escaped your mind... It’s not going to happen.

It is safe to say no matter what label you and your significant other agrees on, the idea of someone knocking on the door at 3am (which is booty call hours might I add), is unsettling. Unfortunately there is someone out there who is unaware of your motives should you be the party responsible for such actions.  The overall message here folks is to be clear with everyone. None of the above phases is an excuse to be a jerk. 

*Voni V.I.P.*

Dont Let Your Dreams go in Default like a Forgotten Student Loan...

I realized my dream a little later than I'd expected.  In no way do I  regret the paths that I have chosen to get here however; it is later than I'd expected.  At 28, dangerously close to 29, I thought I'd be a top record exec on a big Music Label.  I am not.  I dispelled that dream immediately after I obtained my Bachelor's degree with a concentration in Music Business.  With various internships at Sony BMG starting from high school, I had a great entertainment resume. But I didn't want that anymore.  

I knew I was a good writer very early on when I was asked to forge attendance notes for my friends in high school.  In college, i began to write spoken word, performing at various open mics.   The idea of writing down my thoughts over instrumentals in front of an audience, who welcomed what I had to say so well, they cried; should be terrifying.  For me it wasn't.  In one word it was Euphoric. As the story continues, I've made some decisions in my life that caused me to put this dream on hold.  I've got responsibilities; I've got real-life issues, circumstances in which a dream needed to be deferred.

Have I gotten it all together? Probably not. I am ready to take this dream head on, cover my eyes and jump over the cliff of the unknown. Hell yea.  You won't know unless you try.

Often times, we let our surroundings hold us back. Ever choose a night of drinking with your besties over sitting home to hone your craft?   Ever stay up until the wee hours of the morning talking on the phone with your significant other rather than study for a big exam? Ever let someone you love and admire give you advice that is good for them and not you??

 A good friend of mine always says "Never let anyone put you in a box.  Because they will hold you to it.  There is no room for change in a box.  A box is where dreams go to die."  I am alive and at 28 my dreams are realized.   

Here is another quote I'd like to leave you with... Followers are not meant to lead.  Leaders are not meant to follow.  Lead your dreams because if you choose to follow them they'll forever be behind you.

Like I've said ... writing is my therapy... I wrote this for me... 

Voni  V*I*P*

Family Over Everything

My favorite time of the year is when the sun is out, the smell of BBQ resonates through the summer air, frozen drinks are the beverage of choice and relatives you haven't seen during the cold-weather months, drop by unannounced looking for some free air conditioning.  We are all guilty of having the family member who may be  way too loud no matter the topic of discussion; or had one to many alcoholic beverages and now he/she just has to share just how much they love you; or the one who enjoys the great times we share but always seems to sleep throughout the  festivities.  Although I am old enough to know all the "family stories" by heart, I am guilty of having my favorite stories retold over and over again.  It's all about nostalgia, being able to relive the memories as if you were there yourself.  It is also about being able to laugh at the children my family members once were.  Sometimes that one crazy relative allows you to have your own story that must be retold - for laughs of course.

Uncle G is loud all of the time. Morning. Noon. Night.   No matter what the circumstance he is always shouting DAMN!!!! 

Let me give you an example.

Its Thanksgiving.  The men are in the living room watching the football games, the women are in the kitchen whipping up an elaborate dinner all except for my mom. Weird.
Out of no where, Uncle G screams DAMN!!!!
No one is alarmed.  The team he was rooting for has seemingly lost the game and Uncle G is just disappointed or mad.  I can't tell.  Two minutes later the children run into the kitchen begging for candy or sweets of some sorts. They are turned away by their mothers because dinner is almost ready and their appetites should not be spoiled or all the work putting together Thanksgiving dinner would be in vain.  

"But NuNu (my mom) is eating candy over in the corner! Why can't we have some too???"


Two seconds later, M&Ms go crashing, scattered like pinata candy.
The children dive to the floor.

"DAMN!!" - There goes Uncle G....  "DAMN Nunu..You're Busted!!"

Now that I think about it, Uncle G encompasses all the characteristics of the crazy yet well-loved family member.  Uncle G is in his 60s yet he doesn't look like a typical 60 year old.  His favorite topic of discussion is always family.  He believes in his heart of hearts that we are each others best friends and protectors - that's the true definition of family.
One hot day we are sitting on the porch listening to Uncle G rant about how we need to do better as a family unit because we no longer take summer vacations together.  The conversation gets heated when my cousin disagrees with him on the basis that not attending costly family trips shouldn't define how much we love each other.   Uncle G gets so heated he screams "DAMN" with so much force his front teeth fall into my lap then on to the floor.   He quickly retrieves them and shoves it right back into his mouth.   We are all shocked. No one knew he sported dentures not to mention the fact that it wasn't securely locked onto his gums.   My great aunt breaks the silence.
DAMN!! G so your not gonna wash that before you put it back in your mouth.
Come on in this house let me clean that for you!!!  

- Good Times

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You're never too old to play dress-up



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Aint that some Bull

Does anyone knees hurt after a night of heavy drinking and dancing??  Ever since 2009 when I ended up in the hospital with 16 stitches on the bottom of my foot from dancing barefoot on tables (channel Coyote Ugly) I get chronic numbness of the toes when I stand in heels for way too long?   Tell tale signs of a great night!!!

My good girl friend / name twin celebrated her 25th birthday this weekend.  Although she was almost 2 hours late for our reservation at Johnny Utah's (named after Keanu Reeves' character in Point Break)some of us got the party started without her; at the bar of course!  If you are unfamiliar with the bar & restaurant Johnny Utah's, it is mainly famous for its mechanical bull perfectly situated in the middle of the venue.  The drinks were just O.K. as were the appetizer wings. 

Will I ever go back??  Maybe. Maybe not.  If I had to give J.U. a V.I.P. rating, it would only receive 3 stars.   I understand restaurants being a stickler for rules. I also understand the sheer obsession of EXCLUSIVITY  but to have a mandatory BOTTLE SERVICE after 9 pm.@ a bar is ridiculous. I would like to know the type of patrons that dare go in their pockets to spend money on bottles at a place like that.  Not to mention, J.U. had three bouncers and a guest list at the door. *confused face*  This place must get really busy despite the fact that it isn't particularly easy to find.

Us girls finally got our act together for part 2 of the night. Well, I was on part 2.. the late birds were just beginning and were in a desperate need to catch up!  Words cannot describe how much fun we all had. Especially when you NEED pictures to relive the priceless moments. It just proves that women can have  drama-free , caddy-less nights... Yesssss they do exist.

To My Late Night Text Receivers - I meant every word!!
To the Birthday GIRLS & guy....  let's do it again NEXT YEAR...

What You Eat Don't Make Me.... Sh*t

I stated in my first post that I am a chronic blogger and while I have resisted the urge for about 18 or so posts....  I now have 2 blog sites. Why do you need another one Voni?   Well, this weekend I had obscene amounts of fun with my girls and upon looking at the pics to reaccount most of the events that went on for the night I noticed that I am getting a little chubby.   NO BUENO....   
With that said, VoniIsntPerfect.tumblr.com is a blog about my eating habits. Hopefully, this will curb my cravings for Old Bay Seasoned French Fries, Double Stuf'd Oreos, Rice, and any other devil related foods.  Unfortunately my first post didn't go so well..   I NEED HELP!
Read | Follow | Comment ---->  What You Eat Don't Make Me... Sh*t