Rules to This.... Follow My Lead

First blog post in a hot minute and I just have to take a page from the "DATING CHRONICLES edition...  I’m still on the market however; I am dating someone really special. I've decided to dip back into the past to catch up with an old flame that deserved another go at it.  Not something I normally do but the old flame is HAWT!!!   We've decided to take things at a relatively slower pace than normal due to the nature of our past relationships.
 In doing so, LIMBO is where we have been up until very recently - you know "NO STRINGS!!" 
This, by the way is heavily confusing.  No matter which label you decide to use (or no label at all) it MUST be clearly defined… or else all hell breaks loose…  


Here is a scenario with different reactions according to the phase of your relationship.


You just ended a wonderful night out on the town with your beau. You share a taxi cab.
The conversation is so engaging you don’t want the night to end.  
“Your house or mine?”   
Back at the house, the two of you sip some wine, maybe watch a movie and before you know its 3am.  He/she insists that you stay a little longer or at least until the sun comes up.  Add cuddling and spooning into the mix and the night just became perfect…. Until…  You hear a knock on the door.   
At first it’s a subtle knock… Your date doesn’t flinch. You’re thinking it was all in your mind.  
KNOCK!!!! “Hey I know you’re in there!”


What do YOU DO??!!!


NO STRINGS - YOU’RE JUST CHILLIN…..

If this is where you are in your relationship…. I’d say... Roll the hell over and act like you didn’t hear ANYTHING!!! You guys are just chilling right? This means you have no right to ask or even get mad at the mysterious person at the door just as much as he/she has no obligation to explain.

DATING EXCLUSIVELY……

I had to ask around for the definition of dating exclusively as I have never had the pleasure.  I’ve always went from “Just chillin” straight into the commitment phase.  To my understanding this stage is when you are very much interested in settling down however; you are uncertain of with who is worthy.  Unlike the NO STRINGS phase, here is where feelings are present but you try your best not to let emotions surface. In my opinion it never works.  You’re going to get mad… You’re going to feel away. And in regards to whomever it is thinking it’s cute to knock on the door 3am in the morning - well there is nothing you can do at this point either.   Flying off the handle is just going to make you look crazy because as it stands you’re only dating right?  If this situation ever happens to you, I would wait until the next day or two to iron out some details. Clearly someone forgot to mention something somewhere.  
My advice for those of you who are currently moonlighting in this phase is not to stay here too long.  The longer you’re in this particular phase the easier it is to act as if you’re committed while using the excuse that you are not whenever you see fit. 
Don’t ride the lines or you will get hurt.  


COMMITMENT - BF/GF

Like in any other relationship phase, I believe you should treat others just like you would like to be treated. Always put everything out on the table -no surprises. If there is an ex out there who still attached and is bold enough to knock on doors at crazy hours of the night- let it be known.  The first time this happens you might get a pass but trust it will go in the “IM THROUGH WITH YOU BOX”*   I’d like to think at this point in the game all loose ends are tied up and forgotten about however; there are exceptions to the rule.  Messy doesn’t make for great relationships and in the end you will look untrustworthy. 

*The “I’m through with you box” is an imaginary box filled with “oh no he didn’t or she betta not try that again!!”  To explain further, when in any phase of a relationship especially the commitment phase, I don’t believe that everything is worthy of an argument or a fight.  Those that aren’t get tucked away in the box and are filled until you are completely over it.  In reality, break-ups are not easy. If you are able to just break-up with your significant other at the drop of a hat then the commitment phase was not for you. The box is my way of justifying why I am leaving you. *giggles*


THE EX
Oh don't act like because you are broken up the thought of doing it one more time never crossed your mind.  Indulging in such guilty pleasures is dangerous no matter what the circumstance of the break-up. Consequently, if you are the Ex and the above scenario happens to you. You’ve been played... Get up and Get out NOW!!! Thoughts of getting back together should have immediately escaped your mind... It’s not going to happen.

It is safe to say no matter what label you and your significant other agrees on, the idea of someone knocking on the door at 3am (which is booty call hours might I add), is unsettling. Unfortunately there is someone out there who is unaware of your motives should you be the party responsible for such actions.  The overall message here folks is to be clear with everyone. None of the above phases is an excuse to be a jerk. 

*Voni V.I.P.*